if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
