On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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