He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize