sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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