And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
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She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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