is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
