zippers are such a cool invention
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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