it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
