I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
