Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
