I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
