I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
