life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
