Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
