Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
