brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
