So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
