Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
