I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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