He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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