it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how do flat chested girls get laid?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
