My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
