Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
