Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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