Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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