btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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