How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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