he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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