I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
