my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
