I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
