I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
