so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
