guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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