He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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