did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
