Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
