what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
