found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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