What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
