I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
