If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
