theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just had sex on a roof
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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