They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
