How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
