I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
