yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
