I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I smell stomach acid.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my shit smells like andre
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
