...so i touched it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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