When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
