oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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