i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
