I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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