am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
