i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
