She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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